can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
