Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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