I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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