so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
