Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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