Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im having a threesome with these popsicles
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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