I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
