Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
