just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
