Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
