He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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