Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
