Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
