pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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