i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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