i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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