Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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