I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
