Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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