this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
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So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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