the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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