ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
COCAINE IS GR8
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize