I cannot find my penis.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I need water and some morals
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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