Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.

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(713): View more from Texas

He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.

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(914): View more from New York

They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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(813): View more from Florida

This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I could fuck to npr.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.

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