Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
