If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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