so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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