My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
