If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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