so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
