She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
