I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
