I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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