Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
