Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I am naked and annoyed.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
