You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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