I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
