Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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