there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
PANTIES FOUND
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
