i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You ruined the universe
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
