well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
