it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
