the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
even my farts smell like vagina
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
