Me too!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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