oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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