bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
