just tell him i said nine months
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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