Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am available for nakedness
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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