Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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