before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
