the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
