These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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