i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
