Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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