if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
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did i walk over a car last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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