did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
