Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize