She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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