Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Be still, my beating vagina.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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