You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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