so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
