I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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