so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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