If i come over, it means nothing
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
