I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
