She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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