Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize