All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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