i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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