I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
