You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
