i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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