AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
