and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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